The Carmen Baptiste Blog

Exactly.

Watching TV with my girlfriend, it’s some weird show about people having babies. The lady on TV is getting operated on because it won’t come out or whatever. It makes me think. I want kids…one day. Not now. I’m nowhere near ready, hahaha. But whatever. I’ve been without cigarettes for close to 4 days now and I’m feeling sick. I’m sick still, though, but almost done.

The babies are out. Twins.

Actually, speaking of babies, I totally forgot. Since they’re still young, my stepmom and my dad are thinking about having a baby together before they get too old. I was born when my dad was 26 or something, I don’t know, but so they’re at it all the time to try and get pregnant and I think Dani’s pregnant now. That’s cool. I want a brother. Julia says she wants me to have a sister so she can dress her up Loli. She can fucking have April, April’s a bitch. April calls me too much. I was like 9 when she was born. July 30th, 2001 was the worst day of my life.

I had my first girlfriend then, Junie. Junie was…interesting. She’d bring her lunch every day and I would buy mine, and I would trade her my milk for her apple juice. And we would hold hands during lunch, and kiss during recess. Or play tag. My elementary school life was funny. I remember one day when me and Junie were walking home from school (she still lives next door to me in Quebec) and we found this cat walking around and it stalked us home so we fought over its name. We ended up naming it Snuffles. Snuffles still lives at my house. Love you, Snuffles.

4th grade I started getting popular. Junie and me broke up after like, 2 weeks of “going out”. 4th grade I hung out with Courtney, Brooke, Bree, Mason, Doug, and Aubrey. Oh, and Gabe and Maxie too. Maxie’s a boy, we just teased him until like, 8th grade that he was gay until he moved. Apparently he killed himself. By that time, since I was half american and half french-canadian, I knew English enough to have a conversation but not enough to know what I was talking about. Sometimes I even accidently let a “How you say” or a “zee” out, rarely though! I got into my first fist fight (alliteration!) in 4th grade, it was between me and Doug because when me and Brooke were going out, he apparently made out with her. (Brooke was my last gf before Julia came along. We went out for 3 years.) So I kicked his whimpy little ass.

Then in 5th grade I went to my first real boy-girl party not set up by our parents, we had to play spin the bottle. Junie and me had to make out, but it was okay because we’d already kissed eachother before. 5th grade wasn’t very eventful.

6th grade. The transition into middle school, lol. (I just realized I was telling my life story!) 6th grade was when I first tried cigarettes, Marley K gave me one (she was in 8th grade, and all the 6th graders knew you don’t say no to an 8th grader.) and she lit it and I was addicted. It just went down from there. April choked on a grape and we had to go to the hospital, I remember riding in the ambulence to the hospital and picking up a pair of scissors and cutting a piece of my hair off. Everyone made fun of me, but I was still extremely popular for some reason. Me and Brooke started dating then.

7th grade, by then I was fluent in English and my grades got better. But that’s when I started exploring sex. I got my first blowjob during lunch that year by Brooke. The same day I tried pot. We were behind the bleachers and a kid gave me a bowl and some paper and told me how to roll a joint. I’ve never used a pipe, and I never will. 7th grade is when I got my flippy scene hair. I was one of the first kids to get it, and that apparently made me adorable and I was getting sex all over the place. Not the real shit, though.

Fuck 8th grade. It’s nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.

Lie.

Then last year…I don’t like to talk about it.

But so yeah, there’s my life story basically. I’m gonna go get some coffee and watch a movie. Fuck me.

- Carmen

WHYYOUGOTTABRINGUPOLDSHIT?

I am Jack’s Raging Bile Duct.
I am Jack’s Cold Sweat.
I Am Jack’s Complete Lack of Surprise.
I Am Jack’s Smirking Revenge.
I Am Jack’s Broken Heart.

Favorite lines from Fight Club, my favorite movie. Movies can make a bad day good, or a good day bad. Like Snakes On a Plane. That’s a good movie, but some people think it’s bad. But no matter what, music can make you oblivious to anything. I’m sitting outside an Olive Garden with my friends and we’re about to be seated. The constant hot weather out here is really getting the best of me. I’m used to cold, and snow, and rain, and shit weather. It’s pretty cloudy out, actually…it makes me feel nostalgic about my old home. I’m getting horrible internet reception out here though; it’s making it hard to check stuff! Recently I’ve been wondering what I’m gonna do after high school. I have no plan whatsoever. I know I wanna play soccer for whatever college I end up going to, but I’ll probably hang at community college for a bit. Whatever. Still to early to be thinking about this boring crap.

In other news, I’ve recently decided that I need to make some goals. Not in soccer. In weight. I’m gaining weight and I need to stop. I spent like half my paycheck this week on fucking Slim Fast and diet Coke. And drugs. But mostly food. I eat in my car all the time whenever I’m out. Speaking of my car, it sucks. I’m going out later to maybe find a better job thats farther away since now I have my liscence. Forgot to say that. I got my liscence. My picture looks like shit.

I better get over it.

- Carmen

“The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever.” - Anatole France

That quote is definately one of my favorites in my life. Being a boy of only 16, my life is short lived…or has been short-lived, anyway. I believe I’m going to die at a young age. I smoke, I drink, I do coke. I’m walking death. Too bad nobody would really care if I died. Well…maybe some people. Which brings me to my next topic: if people never give a crap if you smoke or drink, why don’t they stop you before it gets worse? Do they really not care that much? Or is it that they think it’s none of their business to get into anything and they go on their merry way? Questions, questions, questions.

So, recently I’ve just been awaiting paitiently the results of my drivers test. I’m trying for my liscence; if I pass, I’m going on a roadtrip. I want to go to some remote place in some remote state and just sit there and drink a beer and watch the grass grow. My life is eventful (hint of sarcasm there, my friends.) Otherwise, things have been pretty slow around here. Halloween is coming up and I really don’t know if I want to go do stuff. Me and my girlfriend’s 3 month anniversary is coming up on the 14th and I’m not sure what we’ll do for that. She says she just likes to go eat somewhere. I don’t know. I need to save my money. Does that make me a bad person?

-Carmen